I am going to make this simple for all of you to digest. Here is the ideal way to be completely in tune with your partner or your teacher.
The easiest thing one can do is get adequate rest. Yes rest and do not drink alcohol or smoke pot before you decide you want to engage with your partner. Don't cheat yourself and don't fool yourself into believing that alcoholic beverages or any type of drug will put you in the right frame of mind for relaxation therapy.
Any drug you take places you at the risk of not only "deadening" and numbing out your energy but being "out of it". You want to be completely awake but calm before you decide to touch your partner or work with your tantra teacher.
Drugs distance us from energy and distance us from being able to really read and interpret body language. We don't want interference or "distortion" to block us from being able to really be present for our partners so my advice is you stay alert but calm and speak in hushed tones but use clear inflection when communicating with your tantra partner.
There are going to be times where there is complete silence. Don't be afraid of the silence instead connect with your partner's breathing patterns and when you place your hands over your partner's stomach be mindful not to place too much pressure on their body you simply want to "support" their breathing by being very gentle on their inhalation and then using gentle pressure as they exhale.
Be ready for constructive criticism and encourage the input and feedback. Make your partner feel safe enough to engage in complete communication without them fearing you will judge then or be upset. This is your shared session and this is a joint venture for both of you to get to know each other during a state of connection and trance.
Tantra yoga is a gentle balance of energy healing, deep breathing, concentrated touch and intention. Before the session even begins you may decide you wish to state your intentions verbally and then you may wish to engage in eye contact for a full fifteen minute period just so you both feel comfortable with each other and acknowledge each other fully.
Being present is so simple. Blank out your mind while you are in session. Healing means we leave our worries behind. In order to truly heal and create opportunities for shared growth you need to let go of expectations and disappointments. Don't worry about work ...keep your phone shut off and make sure your clock is off. Don't be concerned if the session runs over the deadline. You want to make sure your partner knows how very important THEY ARE and you don't want to rush them into relaxation or keep a time clock on.
Time is a valuable commodity and you sharing your time and energy and focus is the most healing transference of love you can exchange.